The world has a way of beating us up. Friends and family members can sometimes be the very people that hurt us the most. I knew a young woman who had been abused by two family members when she was just a little girl, and the scars of this abuse followed her well into adulthood. Several of her relationships were abusive, and she explained to me that she allowed this to happen to her because she felt powerless to stop it. Moreover, she said that she had come to the conclusion, long-ago, that she was probably not worthy of anyones love, and much less, respect. From what I could gather, this young woman believed that she was worthless and therefore, why should anyone care for her. As I listened to her story, my heart pained for her. I knew that I had to try and help her understand her value. So, after she poured out her heart to me I replied with…
The first thing is that we cannot allow ourselves to be valued according to what other people do to us or think about us. Equally, we cannot allow the value that society would place on us, based on our past or present condition, determine our value or influence our self-esteem. Secondly, we must allow the thoughts about our personal value to come from the best judge of any human being, the Bible. You see, the Scriptures clearly lay out how we were created and the value that is ours because of our Creator. Acknowledging this truth, the Psalmist wrote, “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Psalm 139:14.
Finally, God wants for us to know that because He created us in His image, we are worthy to be saved from eternal death. For this reason He sent His Son, Jesus, to be our redeemer. When we accept Jesus as Lord and Savior, we immediately become children of God. “But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God” John 1:12. Since God is so rich in mercy that He saves us from eternal punishment, we have got to ask ourselves, what must our value be? And the answer is clear. Our value is infinite and eternal because our God is infinite and eternal!
This young woman took these words to heart, and as she struggled to believe and apply them to her life, she found new strength and faith to push pass the abusive people in her life. She admitted to me at a later point that my words first went in one ear and out the other, but one day she opened the Bible and began to read many verses that speak about her value before God, and soon after, she felt an empowerment come over her that she had never felt before. As she continued to read over a period of months she knew that she needed a drastic change in her life. She had arrived to the decision that she would no longer allow anyone to abuse her mentally, physically or spiritually. She understood and believed that she is a child of the Most High God and no matter what the world would do to her, God would save her and love her eternally.
After several years, this young woman went on to marry a man who understood her value and they raised two children of their own. I spoke with her recently and she stated that God is always revealing His love toward her in many different ways; through her husband, her children, her church and her friends. As she looked back on her old self, she realizes that no worldly advice could have ever led her out of her old state of mind. It was only by reading the Bible and praying to God in faith, that ultimately brought her out of an abusive life and into a life of intimacy, with the God who created and sustains her value.
What about you? Are you being abused? Do you understand your value? If any of what I have written speaks to your life, I pray that you would be led to the Scriptures and that you would find value, peace,
and love for your injured heart.
Many God bless you.